Bad Teddy Karma

Back in the days when I lived in a B&B round the corner from Harrowby Street, I went to the Vic every other day.

I used the place mostly as a kind of social club (a bit like Peter Benson). Somewhere to eat stir-fry and watch the football on the big TV.

Anyway, I collected the frequent visitor points and was duly rewarded with a George Foreman lean-mean grilling-machine, a large Teddy and two England-supporting Cuddly Lions (it was Euro 2004 & I‘d narrowly failed to accumulate the complete set of three lions). Yes, Grosvenor really knew how to treat the high rollers like The Paper.

All these items have languished in boxes or bin bags for the last couple of years but I'm now keen to move them on.

The grill is on its way to a culinarily-minded colleague. But what to do with Teddy and his pals? Their natural target constituency is the younger segment of the population. But it seems plain wrong to visit such items of dubious provenance on these innocents - perhaps the capital invested in these furry objects comes directly from the case funds of compulsive degenerates, recently-resigned gas sector-based public servants, ditching their formerly productive lives to pursue a 'career' as a 'professional' poker player.

The skillful thing would perhaps be to offer them up without volunteering details of their precise history. In karmic terms, I think this would serve as purification, and their new owner would remain unsullied.

Are there any lamas out there who are regular readers of this blog and could provide some guidance on this please?

Out of retirement

After pretty much ‘retiring’ from live poker at the end of 2004, I returned to the Vic before Christmas and have now regained quite a taste for it. I’d been enjoying the internet - speed, convenience, no griping, ability to read the paper without players appealing to Caroline (Pedro!) - but now I’m bored by the facelessness of it all.

So to the Vic, and grappling with the new scene there. After a lengthy diet of 0.25/0.50 and 0.50/1.00 online, I haven’t been too proud to shun the new £25 NLH game; have mixed this in with the £50 NLH game.

Overall, level. Winning in the £25, losing in the £50 - I can only beat the bad players.

Many of the old faces are still plying their trade. Have played with the likes of Pedro, Derek Bishop, Costas, Adrian Holmes, Mr Chu, Mad Monk, Henry Russell. This is really the crown jewels of poker. Other faces in the room have included unlikely characters from the past like Methani, Fred Titmus, F Rohan, Al Rapp plus the less surprising figures of R Gladding, JQ.

Pedro is quite the property tycoon these days, what with the flat in Kilburn, plus ‘half a house‘. He was explaining that his proposed deal to buy an old ruin in France, and turn it into a hotel, had fallen through. “N'est-ce pas?" was his repeated comment on the matter. (No joke).

Mr Jeffrey Leigh asked me if I was playing on the internet these days. He is pretty scathing about this modern trend. "It's not real poker, is it?" On getting home, I tuned into BBC4 documentary "Old Grey Whistle Test Story" featuring Bob Harris’s infamous 'Mock Rock' comment on the NY Dolls. Surely some parallels here, blog buddies?

The only hand of note was in a £50 game when I had AsQh in the big blind. 4 limpers whom I decide to punish with a £10 raise. 2 callers. Flop is J rag rag, all spades. I decide to bet half the pot £20. One caller. We both now have about £70 left. Turn is Th, so a river King is probably now good for me. I decide to bet out the £70. He calls with Jd5s. River is a blank and he takes it down. I discussed this hand with Adrian Holmes, who said he wouldn’t have played it so aggressively, and provided this good insight: “any player that calls pre-flop here with an unsuited Jack isn’t going to be moved off the pot when a Jack hits“.

And finally, I can report that Mr Chu is now the proud owner of a magnificent high-collared shirt which out-Harry Hills Harry Hill.

I am now thinking of a regular ‘fashion watch’ feature in this blog, so stay tuned.